The journey to our princess’s arrival was long as I had dreamed of having a daughter from the moment Sean and I married. But, we celebrated ten years of marriage and two sons before my princess arrived.
Our journey to meet our princess began in August of 2008 when Sean and I decided it was time to add a third child to our family. The process of conception did not come as easy this time as it had for us in the past. It took us six months to conceive our sweet girl. In early February 2009, my sister and brother-in-law found out that they were expecting their first baby. I was thrilled for them, but my heart was a bit disappointed in our continued failure in the area. A few days after we found out about my sister, we were in the car when Nathan, then 4 years old, told me, “Mama, you have baby in your tummy too; it’s just littler than Chee-Chee’s. It’s like an M&M.” I was quite amazed at my son’s “intuition” and immediately called Sean to tell him of Nathan’s insight. One and a half weeks later, I took a pregnancy test on a whim – totally expecting another negative, which I had become quite accustomed to in six months’ time. But, this time, it was positive, and I felt those all too familiar emotions – extreme excitement, a faint feeling, barely able to control myself and having to concentrate to breathe. Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows exactly what I’m talking about here. I quickly grabbed a Ziploc and threw the pregnancy test in there. I also grabbed the boy onesie and “Daddy’s Girl” shortalls that I had been saving for just the right time and threw it all in a decorative bag. I found Sean in the kitchen with the boys and videotaped him opening the gift. He was so excited!!! He then got down and explained to the boys what the gifts meant. They ran into the living room and danced around because they were going to have a baby! From the moment he found out that I was pregnant, Nathan was emphatic that it was a baby girl. He even had Sean, Elijah and I convinced within a few months’ time.
The first trimester brought the full package of all-day sickness: nausea, vomiting, stomach problems, etc. It was terrible! I was sick for two months straight. Taking care of the boys was exciting with my head in the toilet most of the time. Outings were near impossible. There was one trip to IKEA with my best friend, her mom, her niece and our kids that did not end well. Talk about embarrassing!!! I wound up losing 10 lbs. from the vomiting. Everyone told me, “It must be a girl since you are so sick.” In hindsight, I believe they were right.
By the end of the pregnancy, Sean was pretty confident that Lil’ Punkin, as we nicknamed her in utero, was a baby girl. He KNEW our princess was on the way. I really felt that way too, but deep inside, I tried not to get too excited or my hopes set on a girl because I knew that there was a 50/50 chance of it being another boy! Our boys, however, did not understand that. When people asked, they would promptly tell them that we were having a girl, and her name was Kadynce Joy. Every time they told someone this, we had to clarify that we did not know the baby’s sex and that they only THOUGHT it was a baby girl.
Halloween was really “just another day” in our house because we don’t celebrate it. However, since children all around dress up on that day, we did find some costumes for our boys to wear as we ran errands. We had gone to Target the night before in search of a newborn girl outfit and a newborn boy outfit for the baby to wear for hospital pictures (since I didn’t have anything “photo worthy” for either sex and knew Sean would be working and not able to get anything immediately after baby arrived). I found a cute Carter’s outfit that was brown with red stripes and a doggie on it for a boy; I found a pink pants set for a girl – velour top that said Princess in the corner with leggings. I had baby boy socks, but no baby girl socks. I also wanted a headband/bow for the baby girl to wear for pictures. I wanted to be prepared! But, Target didn’t have the right socks for a newborn or a headband. So, on Halloween, we went to Sam’s to pick up some pictures I had printed of my nephew (who was born earlier in the week). Then, we ran to Wal-Mart, where I found some cute Princess socks that matched the girl outfit perfectly. But, I still couldn’t find a headband for my “potential” baby girl. After a short afternoon break at home, we decided to head to my mother-in-law’s that night to visit with family. On the way there, I made Sean stop at a different Target so that I could attempt to find headbands. I finally found some, and I was thrilled! After nine crazy months (which included 5 months of unemployment and 6 weeks of a preschooler in a spica cast with a broken femur), I finally felt ready to have this baby!
We enjoyed a quiet evening with Sean’s family. We got some cute photos of the kids - our niece was dressed as a flower fairy, Nathan was dressed in his cowboy attire, and Elijah was sporting a ninja costume. They enjoyed helping Gigi pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters. Sean kept telling me that he thought I’d go into labor that night, but I wasn’t sure. I felt fine that evening and wasn’t having anymore contractions than normal.
Once we arrived home, we got the boys to bed. I started noticing that I was having contractions quite a bit, and they seemed to be in a pattern. I went online and started tracking the contractions on www.contractionmaster.com. My contractions were lasting about 1 minute each and were coming everywhere from 4-8 minutes. I was online chatting with a fellow mommy, and I had to ask her how far apart the contractions had to be before calling the doctor. I couldn’t even remember! We decided it was when contractions were every 4-5 min. I called my parents to give them fair warning of what “might” be happening. They just laughed because it was about par – it was a Saturday night…and my dad is our pastor. For them, the timing couldn’t have been worse, but they were thrilled that their fourth grandchild might be coming soon. Before calling the doctor, I decided to take a bath and see if things changed any. The contractions did indeed STOP while I was in the tub, but I found myself having trouble truly relaxing – even with the lights off and candles burning. I think I had a bit of anxiety over what was to come. When I got out of the tub, I informed Sean that I thought it might be just a false alarm. He, on the other hand, was convinced that it was more than that. Sure enough, my contractions started again once I got settled. We called the doctor and then called my parents to let them know that we were headed to the hospital (as the dr. had advised).
I will admit that I was concerned when I found out that my doctor was not on-call that night. For one, I have only had female OB’s, and there was a male doctor (Dr. Fleming) on-call that evening. More importantly, I was adamant from day one that my doctor, Dr. Boyd, deliver the baby. I had done a lot of research to find a new OB after my previous one failed to meet my standards of a competent doctor. I did not want just “another doctor” delivering my baby. So, when Sean called, he requested that Dr. Boyd be notified, if at all possible, because I really wanted her to deliver. I had heard some good reports about Dr. Fleming earlier in the week so that did help things a bit. (I’m thinking God might have had something to do with this.)
We woke the boys and told them that the baby was coming – they hopped out of bed and headed to the car (at least Nathan did – he’d been waiting on this day for months). I got very nauseated before we left the house – I’m not sure if it was nerves or the onset of labor – so I wound up carrying a bowl with me to the hospital. What made it worse was the strong skunk smell on the way there. Blech! Luckily, it never turned into anything more than simple nausea – thank goodness!!! Sean and I did a bit of talking in between contractions to keep my mind off things and help my nervous energy (the trauma and problems I had after Elijah’s delivery left me with a bit of anxiety for this one).
We arrived at the hospital and chuckled when I was placed in the same labor and delivery room where my sister delivered my nephew less than a week earlier. Then we realized how neat it would be for the cousins to take their first breath in the same room. When I mentioned that my sister had delivered there 5 days earlier, the labor and delivery nurse said that she had been with my sister during her delivery. Several others remembered her throughout our stay – that was pretty neat. Once hooked up to the monitors, it was confirmed that I was in labor and having consistent, mid-range contractions. They were coming about every 2-3 minutes. I was 4 cm. dilated and about 80% effaced. I was nervous about the IV (after having all my veins blown during the complications following my last delivery), and of course, the first vein they tried blew immediately. I started getting light headed and required oxygen for a bit while they worked on the IV, but they finally got it in! I labored all night long with very little sleep. Sean and Mom managed to sleep (and snore) on the fold out chairs in the room while I moaned through contractions. I remember that Roseanne was on TV at the beginning (there was a flat screen TV on the wall at the end of my bed), and it was the episode where she gives birth. Pretty ironic! At one point closer to morning, I think Full House was on. Sometime around 5 or 6 a.m., my contractions petered out and I was able to get a bit of sleep.
As I mentioned earlier, I was pretty nervous about this delivery because of complications following my last one. I was at a different hospital this time, but I had been told that one of the best nurses I had at the last hospital had transferred to this one. As soon as I was settled in for the night, I asked the nurse about Mischa, and I was told that she was actually a manager for the labor and delivery unit. They said that she would be in the next morning. I had my hopes up to see her that next day.
When the nurse came in that morning, she told me that Dr. Fleming was still on-call. If my water hadn’t broken by 11 a.m., he would come in to break my water and get this show on the road. Around 11:30 or so, the nurse checked me, and I was 4-5 cm. with my bag of waters still in tact. About noon, Dr. Fleming came in and broke my water (and promised he would try to contact Dr. Boyd, though we weren’t sure she could make it in time). It didn’t take long for the contractions to pick up in intensity and frequency. I had forgotten how painful those transition contractions are! Ouch! Somehow during this time, my TV got changed to the Dallas Cowboys game. And yes, the game was on (though muted) when I gave birth! After a couple of painful contractions, I asked the nurse to check me because I was beginning to have the slight urge to push. I was only 7-8 cm. dilated, and I remember thinking, “Geez, this is going so slow this time.” (I went from 5 cm. to 10 cm. in 30 min. with my previous birth.) But, based on the way I was feeling and the urge to push that was setting in, I knew that we had to be close.
After 1 or 2 more contractions, I was begging the nurse to check again because the urge to push was so strong. She got her glove on and was ready to check but never got a chance. She told me that she’d do it after the next contraction, but that next contraction was filled with surprises! The pressure to push soon became too intense to ignore, and my body began bearing down without my control. (I know it sounds crazy, but trust me – there was no stopping it.) Everyone was telling me, “Don’t push” – including my mom, who was one of my birthing coaches. The nurse ran out of the room to get the doctor, and my mom tried talking to me calmly and telling me, “You can’t do this. Don’t push yet, Krisinda. Wait on the doctor – he’s coming.” I believe my response went something like, “I can’t help it. *GRUNT* I HAVE to puuuuush!” I remember the doctor coming in and immediately beginning to put his “garb” on. All the while, I was grunting/pushing on the bed. The nurses were scrambling, and I remember them trying to get the stirrups up. I pushed one more time, knowing something was happening, and exclaimed, “Oh, God!” As I watched the doctor put on his shoe covers/booties, I heard Sean say, “Um, I see the head, people. Okay, head’s out!” The doctor then dashed over and jumped on the end of the bed in time to catch my baby with the next push. I saw the baby but couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl. I heard Sean say, “It’s a girl!” with tears in his eyes. My mom then gave me a side hug and patted my cheek saying, “It’s a girl.” She, of course, was crying too. Sean and Mom both tell me that I cried, but I don’t recall that. Kadynce Joy Lingenfelter arrived at 12:30 p.m. – only 4 minutes after the doctor was called to the room.
Sean did not get to cut the cord; they rushed Kadynce over to the warmer fairly quickly. Apparently, she was blue and not breathing well at birth. We were told that she had quite a bit of amniotic fluid that had to be suctioned out. (After further research, it seems that the fluid did not get pushed out of her lungs since she came so quickly.) I was not terribly worried about her at this moment because 1) I was busy with afterbirth pains and delivery and 2) Mischa happened to be in the room after birth so I knew Kadynce was in good hands. After a few minutes of suctioning, she let out a beautiful cry! She weighed 7 lbs. 15 oz. (same as Nathan) and was 21.5 inches long (1 inch longer than her brothers). She had dark brown hair, big blue eyes, and chubby little cheeks. Her nose was crushed towards the left – she must have had a funky position in the womb - but I thought that she was gorgeous! After years of waiting and dreaming, I couldn’t believe that my princess was finally here.
Everything went smoothly during recovery. Because I hemorrhaged after my previous birth, I was very conscious about postpartum bleeding and such. The nurses and doctor were aware of this so I was left on pitocin a bit longer than usual as a precautionary effort. I also had some extra cramping – due in part to the pitocin and in part to the fact that this was my third delivery. However, by the next day, I felt much better. I spent the day alone with Kadynce since Sean went in to work and my parents had the boys. I just rested, watched TV, surfed the net, etc. Later that afternoon, my mom came by to help me shower…I felt almost back to normal after that! We went home on Tuesday, November 3, 2009. Sean and the boys came to pick us up, and we went home to McKinney. It was so surreal driving home as a family of 5. Sean and I both felt extremely blessed by the Lord during that drive home.
Kadynce, you are definitely the princess in our family. I have always said that you were Mommy’s princess, and now your brothers have nicknamed you “princess.” You are adored by all!!! You have been in my heart for a while…and now you are in my arms! There are days that I can’t believe you are finally here. I know that God has a plan for you and that His timing was perfect for your arrival. You have many people to touch in your lifetime. My prayer is that you would submit to God’s plan for your life early on and will live for Him all of your days. I love you!
-Mommy
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